


Enough

by gblvr



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Multi, kink:voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-26
Updated: 2009-06-26
Packaged: 2017-10-02 10:20:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gblvr/pseuds/gblvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn't above watching; in fact, it was something that pleased him, as it required no effort on his part, but could yield satisfying results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Written for gmth via the Gift Ficlet Request Cookie Jar.
> 
> Many, many thanks to my fabulous betas: ellen_fremedon had great feedback on sentence structure and character stuff, and cruisedirector helped me through the ending, and gave me a semi-evil idea for another bit of fic in this same vein. Any remaining mistakes or OOC bits are all my fault.

He was searching the shelves for a text he remembered Bellatrix mentioning at some time in the past and when he rounded the end of a pair of bookcases, he could see them. Rather than announce his presence, he'd slipped back into the shadows to watch. He wasn't above watching; in fact, it was something that pleased him, as it required no effort on his part, but could yield satisfying results. Watching helped him to avoid messy interpersonal entanglements, and if it yielded information that could later be used to his advantage? Well, that was even better – he was, after all, a _spy_....

One of them was Lupin, of that he was sure. The scarred shoulder and upper arms, the graying honey-brown hair, the sharp angles and planes of body that were regularly covered in layers of tweed and wool – yes, it was Lupin, but who was the other? He was just as angled and sharp, with dark hair and pale, pale skin. The whipcord thin muscles of his arm were bunching and relaxing as he worked Lupin's cock in his fist while fucking him from behind. Lupin was braced against the wall, head thrown back against the other man's shoulder, the arched line of his body limned by the flickering flames of the dying fire.

He'd heard the rumors about Lupin and Black – they all had – and Severus's first thought was that Lupin had found a substitute for Black. Something about that didn't seem right, though. Lupin had made no secret of his anger and sadness when Black had fallen through the veil, and yet, Severus didn't think even Lupin was so pathetic as to want to replace a dead lover with a copy.

Severus was just beginning to run a list of possible suspects through his mind when he heard Lupin's low moan.

"I need...more, harder, please." Lupin sounded desperate, his voice husky and low and sexy, just the way Severus had always imagined it would be. He felt a flare of emotion in his chest: a tight, hot jealousy that threatened to consume him. It spread out, covering his vision with a green haze as he watched the pair separate. Lupin turned and kissed his partner deeply while walking him backwards to the sagging sofa. Lupin's partner broke the kiss, murmuring something that Severus could not hear before swatting Lupin on the backside.

Lupin kissed him again before he crawled onto the cushions and gripped the carved rosewood back of the sofa. He arched, pushing his arse into the air and looking coyly over his shoulder. Severus's eyes followed Lupin's to his partner, who had grasped Lupin by the hips, and was again pushing his cock into Lupin.

It was him – that is to say, it was someone who looked just like Severus, so alike as to be his twin – fucking Lupin, pushing his cock into Lupin's arse, clutching his hips hard enough to bruise. Envy pulsed within Severus, squeezing a fist around his heart, burning hotter than even the Dark Mark upon his forearm.

The intensity of it stole the very air from his lungs; it was a long moment before he remembered to breathe. When he finally did, it was loud in the silence of the room, and Lupin's head turned, eyes moving unerringly to where he was standing in the shadows. Lupin narrowed his eyes for a moment, then widened them as he looked directly into Severus's eyes, and moaned. The sound went straight to the core of him, and Severus squirmed uncomfortably as his cock hardened. He wanted – no, needed – to touch himself, if only to adjust the fit of his trousers, but he refused to do so with Lupin watching.

"Oh, yes, Severus. That's good, fuck me harder, just like that."

Lupin's partner obliged by fucking him harder, deep thrusts that inched the sofa along the marble floor. With each stroke, Lupin moaned wordlessly, but his eyes remained locked on Severus hiding within the shadows. Severus felt stripped bare and flayed open by the weight of Lupin's gaze; it was as if he were on display, his every secret wish and shame exposed, but he could not look away. He watched as emotion flitted across Lupin's face, and knew that Lupin was seeing the same things on his – lust and hunger and the all-consuming fear of rejection and need, so much need. Severus finally turned his head away, unable and unwilling to let Lupin see more.

When the pitch and timbre of Lupin's voice changed, Severus once again was compelled to look at him, to watch as he fell apart in ecstasy. Lupin still hadn't looked away, and he didn't close his eyes until the very end, when he lay limp and sated against the back of the sofa while whoever was masquerading as Severus thrust a few more times before slumping over his back, panting heavily. Both men were still for a long moment; finally Lupin opened his eyes, and focused on Severus once again.

He didn't look away as he spoke. "Thank you, 'Dora."

The figure draped over Lupin's back sighed, and pulled away to flop onto the sofa. Severus could just see the top of Nymphadora Tonks's head as she morphed back to her usual form; the hair was becoming shorter and streaks of a violent shade of pink began to mar the inky blackness. When all Severus could see was pink, Tonks spoke.

"You're welcome, Remus." She sounded odd, not at all like the clumsy and annoying brat Severus remembered from her years at Hogwarts. "Was it.... Was it what you wanted?"

Lupin looked away, then, turning to wrap his arms around Tonks, and murmur in her ear. Severus swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw how tenderly Lupin held her; he wanted that, wanted Lupin to turn to him for what he needed and to give him the same gentle mercies in return. He shook his head at such foolishness, knowing that it would never happen, and turned away. He waited in silence, willing his erection to go away, and not looking at the pair of them until he heard the door at the back of the room close.

When he'd judged enough time had passed for the hallway to be empty, he turned and walked briskly toward the door. His hand was on the latch when he heard Lupin speak.

"I know that looked....well, I know how it looked, and I have no excuse for violating your trust like that. But I hope that you'll forgive me."

When Severus didn't answer, or move to leave, Lupin spoke again.

"Severus? Please say something – curse me, hex me, anything."

"Tell me why you did it."

"I've Polyjuiced for her a few times, and this was her way of repaying the favor. I had no idea that she would be so clever as to figure out who it was I really wanted. I suppose I should have expected it – she is intelligent, and I've never been good at keeping secrets from my friends."

Severus felt hope welling within him, but he ignored it in favor of keeping the status quo. No good could come of pursuing anything, be it sex or more, with Lupin. He told himself it was better this way – hope would only lead to misery, and he'd had enough of that in his life. He cleared his throat, and forged ahead in his sternest tone. "I think it would be best for all involved if we were to forget everything that has happened this evening. You will not speak of it to me, and you can be assured that I will not speak of it, either, to anyone." As he spoke, Severus pulled the door open, hoping to slip through it, and escape to the privacy of his borrowed room. He was startled when the handle was ripped from his hand, and the door slammed shut with a resounding thunk.

"No. We need to talk about this." The low growl of Lupin's voice in his ear sent goose pimples skating over his skin, and he shivered involuntarily as he felt Lupin's breath against the skin of his neck. When he did not answer, Lupin nuzzled the skin behind his ear, nipping lightly with his teeth before repeating, "We need to talk about this."

Severus couldn't help himself; he was saying yes before he knew it. He could feel his resistance slip away in a heated rush, and it felt as though all his strength went with it. He fell to his knees, taking Lupin with him, sagging against him bonelessly, tipping his head back to expose the tender skin of his neck. Lupin growled again before swiping his tongue over the flutter of Severus's pulse. "I don't want to forget it. I don't want to forget what I saw in your eyes while she fucked me. You want me – I saw it."

Severus tried to shake his head, to deny it, but Lupin was adamant. "You stood there in the shadows, sneaking about like you always do, watching us and thinking you could hide this, but you can't. You want me as much as I want you."

Severus closed his eyes in defeat, dropping his chin to his chest and murmuring, "Yes. Yes, I want you. Is that what you want to hear?"

Lupin's voice was sad as he asked, "Was it really so hard to say?"

Severus didn't answer; he couldn't speak through the twin bands of terror and hope that were squeezing the air from his lungs. It was all he could do to keep still, and not bolt from the cradle of Lupin's arms.

They were quiet for a long time; Lupin tightened his arms around Severus, whispering, "it's all right, I promise I won't hurt you, it's okay" over and over against his hair.

When Severus felt as though he could breathe again, he gathered his courage and spoke. "I do want you, and have done for far too long. But I--"

It was Lupin's fingers against his lips that stopped him, as much as his words.

"No buts, Severus." He slid his fingers away from Severus's mouth and along his jaw as he spoke, forcing Severus to turn his head, so that he could press their mouths together. A flick of his tongue was all it took for Severus to open up, and Lupin ran his tongue along Severus's lower lip, biting and sucking on it before pressing forward, kissing him deeply.

Severus shivered as Lupin pushed against him. He was still horribly aroused, but Lupin wasn't touching him where he needed to be touched. With a sharp noise of impatience, he grasped Lupin's hand, and pressed it to the swell of his cock beneath his trousers and robes. When Lupin rubbed his thumb along the length of it, Severus arched into it, and wrapped his other hand into the hair at Lupin's nape.

When Lupin pulled his hand away, Severus whimpered and tried to pull Lupin's hand back to his aching cock, but Lupin pulled their linked hands down to Severus's thigh and pressed against his fingers. He eased out of the kiss, then crawled around to wedge himself between Severus and the door so he could begin undoing the tiny rows of ebony buttons that held his robes closed.

The light touch of Lupin's fingers against his shirtfront made Severus squirm, but a quelling look from Lupin stilled him, and he held his breath as each button slipped free. Lupin didn't touch him otherwise and it seemed an eternity before his robe fell open to reveal his crisp white shirt. Lupin merely quirked an eyebrow, and started to work on those buttons as well. But Severus didn't have the patience to wait anymore, and he covered Lupin's hands on either half of his shirt, and pulled. The buttons popping off and bouncing to the floor was loud in the stillness of the room. Severus released his hold on Lupin's wrists, twisting to untie the laces at the sides of his trousers; Lupin bent to unlace the opposite side.

With trembling fingers, Lupin pushed both hands down the back of his trousers and pants. He skimmed over the spare curve of Severus's arse, pushing the layers of cloth down as he leaned in for another kiss. It was hot and nasty and everything that Severus wanted and never thought he could have. It was a question and the answer and it promised oh so many things…. Severus stopped thinking and worrying then, giving himself up to sensation. The world was tilting and his skin was suddenly exposed to the cool air and it felt as though Lupin had a hundred hands and was touching him everywhere at once and then everything stilled.

He opened his eyes to see Lupin above him, eyes wide, pupils blown, asking if he was sure. He flexed against the fingers inside his arse, and nodded, once, before pulling Lupin down for another kiss. He felt Lupin's fingers slip away, only to be replaced with the blunt head of his cock, and then he was again lost in sensation – the steady push and burn of penetration, the sweet twinge as Lupin came to rest inside him, and pulled away, only to push in again, deeper and harder on each stroke, slow and deliberate and oh-so-sweetly.

Severus wasn't surprised to feel himself coming after only a few strokes, his back arched with the effort it took to keep from screaming. It was by far the best orgasm he'd had in years, and he felt as it he were flying apart. Lupin continued to fuck him slowly as he came, thrusting shallowly against Severus's prostate until he was limp and sated.

Lupin paused for a moment, swiping his fingers through the warm stickiness between them and bringing the fingers to his mouth to taste. Severus felt his cock twitch as he watched, and he closed his eyes against the sight of Lupin's fingers slipping out of his mouth. He felt those fingers slipping across his stomach again, and then against his own lips. He sucked Lupin's fingers in, tasting his spunk and their sweat and the muskiness of hot skin as Lupin started to thrust again, just as hard and deep as before. He opened his eyes – to watch, so that he might remember this later -- and was startled by the intensity of Lupin's gaze. He was staring down into Severus's face, as if he too wanted to watch and remember, as if he too thought this would never happen again. It wasn't what he expected, and his surprise must have shown in his eyes. Lupin looked disappointed for a moment before pulling his fingers away, and closing his eyes. He sighed deeply as the rhythm of his motions changed. He was now fucking Severus with fast, shallow thrusts, his face dispassionate and closed off.

He faltered when Severus touched his face, but quickly regained his momentum, still fucking with eyes closed, breathing coming more quickly as he worked to come.

"Remus. Look at me." Lupin stopped moving altogether, and did as Severus asked. Severus, for his part, didn't flinch when their eyes met; instead he tried to let what he was feeling show on his face, and in his eyes.

Lupin's eyes widened, and his mouth worked for a moment before he stammered out, "You. I mean. Do you really?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Lupin didn't speak so much as he moaned; he twitched once, and then he was thrusting deeply again, his weight heavy against Severus as he came.

Severus's back and thighs were beginning to ache when Lupin roused himself enough to pull away and sit back on his heels. He twitched his fingers in the direction of the sofa, muttering "accio robe." Lupin's robe floated across the room to where they were lying, and Lupin situated himself at Severus's side before pulling it from the air to cover them both. Severus turned his head to find Lupin already looking at him.

"Please tell me we're not going to sleep on the floor of the library?"

When Lupin didn't answer, Severus merely rolled his eyes and opened his arms. Lupin cuddled close, laying his head against Severus's shoulder and twining their legs together. The silence was comfortable in a way that it had never been for them, and Severus could feel himself relaxing in slow increments. He knew he should get off the floor, and drag Lupin to one of their rooms to sleep, but for now he just wanted to enjoy the silence, and the heat and weight of someone in his arms. It wasn't perfect; in fact, the floor was hard, there was a draft coming under the door and Lupin's feet were cold against his calves, but it was his, and for the time being, that was enough.


End file.
